We fall in love. We project how we feel onto somebody else.
They’re the reason we feel this good. They’re the reason we feel this awful.
We read relationship books. We learn to communicate Mars to Venus and Venus to Mars.
We sit cross-legged facing each other muttering the words, “What I hear you saying is this…”
We try to fix them and then decide to fix ourselves.
We change ourselves and try to change them.
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Something’s got-you-by-the-tail. It’s got you swimming around in that head of yours - around and around and around.
You just keep swimmin’, just keep swimmin’, just keep swimmin’…
What-oh-what do you do about it?
Ignore it. Yes, you read that right. Ignore it.
“That doesn’t make any sense”, you say. “I’ve always thought about what’s bothering me. In fact, I find it hard not to talk about it. I want to talk about it, and I’ve been told by so many other wise humans that talking about it makes it go away. And so I do it often. A lot. Isn’t that what I’m supposed to do?”
I mean ignore it – for awhile. Set it aside; think less about it – until you feel better.
When you’re talking about what’s bothering you, what are you talking about? What’s bothering you. And how do you feel? Bothered....
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How do you have automatic positive thoughts?
Well, the answer to that is, you probably don’t…especially if you’ve practiced more automatic negative-feeling thoughts than good-feeling ones.
It not only depends on the subject, but it can also be about your general habitual outlook on life.
So if your habit on a specific subject, or on life in general is more tilted in the negative slant….
It’s going to take some practice...
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No one wants to be rejected, but we've all been there, haven't we?
You put yourself out there, you let her know how you feel, and she doesn't feel the same way.
You applied for your dream job and they gave it to someone else.
You've been in a committed relationship for a year or decades and he leaves (or he decides he wants something different).
You offer a product or a service and the only person who bought it was the friend you paid to buy it.
Rejection. It sucks. Big time.
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The reality you’re living is real.
Dammit….you face it every day. Every day when you look at your sales. Every day when you look at your bank account. Every day when you go to the grocery store. Or when you want to buy something you can’t afford.
It’s real. The numbers don’t lie.
You can’t possibly dream of another reality because this is the one you’re knee-deep into.
But you want something different. You want some things to change.
You want to live a better life....
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We do it because we think it’ll be better, we do it because the future promises more, we do it because we want to feel.
What are you putting off to….“when”.
….as in, “I’ll be happy when I live in a new house, get a new job, have more money.”
... “I’ll be glad when this is over, he’s outta my life, or my kid is over this phase.”
…“I’d feel better if I knew, if I had a job, or if I didn’t have so much to do.”
Is the grass really greener when, or can it be greener now?
Why wait?
You can feel good on your way to the greener, better, lusher times you want.
Why are you putting off feeling good until you…get there?
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We do it for enlightenment. We do it to become a better person. We do it because some guru, Shaman, Monk or Buddha must have the wisdom we don’t.
We pursue spirituality and self-development like it’s another job we have to do. We should do. We must do.
We want…to fix our flawed-selves, advance ourselves, and grow.
I’m allll about being self-aware. I’m all about living consciously and being the best version of me. In fact, I chased that best version of me for a long time, believing I must be faulty, only to discover that I was never defective in the first place. Only to discover that I had all the wisdom I needed, within me. Only to discover that I’d been in hot-pursuit of taking myself way-too-seriously.
I’m for you going after what you want and discovering yourself along the way.
…But does it have to be so serious? Do the deep questions have to be explored in every conversation? Do you have to know what’s holding you back, calling you forward, pushing you down and making your aura brown?
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