Posts in Outlook on Life
Ask a Different Question. It's Important.

Why are questions important?

Because the questions you ask make you more aware of the answers.  If you don't ask a question, the answer might be smack-dab-in-your-face and you wouldn't know it, so asking a question makes you more aware of the answers that are there.  

If I said to you, “It’s a cat” and you hadn’t asked me a question similar to, “What kind of animal is that?”, you’d have no idea what I was talking about and you'd look at me like I was a crazy lady.  Awkwaaaaard.   

If you're asking questions and not liking the answers, maybe it's time to have a look-see at the questions and what the questions are highlighting.  If your questions are more pointed at the problems you don't want vs. the solutions you do want, the answers you continue to attract will be more of a match to the problems rather than the solutions.  

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Who Moved Your Potatoes and Where Did They Go?

There's something you want. 

You don't have it yet.  That's probably why you still want it.

It's taking soooo long. 

"Where is it, where is it, where is it?", you ask.

"It's missing", you say.  "I don't know where it is.  I don't know how to find it.  I don' t know how to get it.  I don't know how to make it happen."

Have you ever gone looking for something that was missing (let's say in this case, potatoes) that you couldn't find and soon after you gave up looking for the missing potatoes,  there they were?

Have you ever wanted something that you didn't have and once you decided to think of something else instead of the thing you didn't have - the thing you wanted that you formerly didn't have - is now yours?

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So You Think You Want Control?

You want a way to control what's going on around you so that it doesn't feel so random and unpredictable. 

You want...predictability. 

You want consistency from the one you're with. 

You want to know what's going to happen in a future that hasn't happened yet. 

You want...certainty. 

Not in a boring kind-of-way that means you have to plan every last-thing right down to the details of what you're going to eat for lunch next Tuesday at 11:53:42 am, ET.  Nawwww...not in that way.  ;)

But you do want to be prepared.  You want to know.  You want a sense of control over your life.  

Maybe you feel it's all out-of-control.

Maybe controlling as many and as much as you can would make you feel better.  

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That Cowboy Hat Makes Me Look Fat

Several years ago while in a Western Gear store in Texas, I heard a girl over-yonder say, "This cowboy hat makes me look fat." 

I thought, "Well, there you have it.  If you think it, it shall be it."  That girl was far, far, far from anything you would call fat, heavy or over-weight.

But she believed it. 

How you perceive your world is everything.

How you feel about how you're perceiving is everything.

What you believe forms your perceptions.  

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Do Your Cupcakes Include Peas and Noodles?

You're not likely to eat something again that doesn't taste good so why would you think and talk about something that doesn't feel good again and again and again?

It's because ...

It's how you've received attention in the past.

It's because...

It's what you think you're supposed to do to solve the things that seem out-of-place.

It's because...

It's what you've seen and experienced other people doing.

And it's because...

You might misunderstand how you construct your reality. 

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Can You Fake It Till You Make It?

Sometimes, our daughter will get this look on her face and she’ll act as if she’s really mad about something.  She would convince any movie director that she’s really mad - but she's not. She’s playing a role and acting it out; she's not feeling it - she's pretending to feel something she's not.  

Do you ever fake how you feel?  Like feeling happy when you're not?

Do you ever pretend to feel something you're not?  Like feeling abundant when you feel utterly broke?

Do you ever pretend to feel confident when you feel insecure?

Do you use the words that sound positive to try to cover up how you feel?

How often do you fake it for the sake of – looking good, not looking bad, hiding, ease, impressing someone - faking how you feel mostly because of the way it would look to someone else or because that's what you think you're supposed to do?

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Your Habits of Thought Are the Only Thing Standing in the Way of You and Your Goals

You're about one week in from making your New Year's Resolutions and setting fresh goals. 

How's it going so far? Hanging in there?  Doing awesome?  Faltering on what you were so excited about one short week ago?

Why do you make resolutions, anyway?  

Do you plan on not-following through?  

Do you expect to follow-through or do you expect you won't?  

Are you motivating yourself to do the thing you said you were going to do with negative consequences? 

How do you feel about your resolutions and goals?

Do you believe you can follow-through, achieve them, own them, live them, drive them, spend them and kiss them?

What you believe and how you feel matters and the achievement of what you want hinges on it.

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One Month of Gratitude...Now What?

November's over and done-with.  You did the gratitude thing, declaring your daily appreciation on the FacePlace (FB), and maybe you felt more appreciation than you've felt all year.  

psst...it wasn't because of the month of November, it's because you put your attention on ways to appreciate the things that are a part of your daily life.  

One month of doing that gratitude stuff is fantastic and all fine and lovely...

What about the other 11 months of the year?

Where do you think you're at?

Do you think that you mostly appreciate?  

Or mostly don't?

How do you cultivate an attitude of appreciation?

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You Know You're Supposed to Feel Thankful, But...

Do you remember being served broccoli for dinner and when you turned your nose up, your parents said you should be grateful to have food because there were starving kids in the world who would give their foot to eat your broccoli?

Do you recall a time when you had a plethora of toys and wanted one or ten more things, and you were told that you were greedy for wanting more than you have - that you should be grateful for what you do have because there were kids somewhere who didn't have any toys?

Do you recollect when you were living in a place you thought was equivalent to living in a dump and wanted to move into a bigger/better space and someone said you should be grateful for having a roof over your head because there were plenty of people living on the streets?

Appreciation is a powerful tool.  It's one of the most powerful approaches you can have to your life but not when you feel bad for not appreciating.  

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